Death: how to talk about it with children

key point

• Children need real, basic information about death.
• Assuming you use the word 'extinction' can help children understand what happened.
• Youth might ask for what valid reason and what happens when individuals move on. You can prepare for such questions.
• If you are having trouble coming to terms with your own feelings about death, get support.

When to discuss extinction with young people

The moment a loved one or significant other passes away, tell your child at the earliest opportunity. It's really smart to let your child know if you can do it. This means you will be able to directly support them and answer their questions.

Assuming you have more than one child in your family, you could talk to the youngsters together or independently. By telling the children together, you can ensure that the data is reliable and that both children hear it at the same time. In any case, assuming you have offspring of different ages or dispositions, it may be easier to tell them independently.

It can also help to have the help of one other adult when you talk to your children about death. You can ask your accomplice, if you have one, or a companion or relative who is close to the children, to be with you when you talk to them.

What to say when discussing spending time with children

Your child needs your help to understand extinction. So it's ideal to understand what happened as fundamentally and honestly as you can. For example: “I have some bad news. Your Aunt Sal left today.”

Using the words 'lapse' and 'passed' can avoid problems. Assuming you say someone 'died' or 'nod off', your child may be confused or scared. For example, a youngster who is informed that 'grandfather has nodded off forever' might be afraid to doze off on the grounds that he is afraid he will never wake up.

Younger children probably won't understand what extinction means, so you could illustrate it and make sure they understand that extinction doesn't disappear. For example, “Kicking the bucket means Aunt Sal's body stopped working. He can no longer breathe you in, move or snuggle up to you.

Assuming you feel really awkward talking about extinction, you may need to try with another adult first. You can review what you will say and how you will address your child's questions. Or, on the other hand, you might get a kick out of the chance to record a few notes as an update.

It can also help to think about what to say if you have no idea how to respond to your child's questions. It's okay to say something like, 'I haven't the foggiest idea, but I'll try to find out'.

Looking at children's books about death and biting the dust with your child can help you understand what happened. You can try Starting Points and Endings in the middle between Bryan Mellonio.

Guidelines for responding to youth inquiries regarding graduation

The moment someone bites the dust, your child will most likely have questions. As long as you think about the answers to these questions, you'll be prepared when your child asks. This can make things easier for both of you.

Here are questions young people often ask. Young children might ask similar questions routinely as they try to cope with death.

Why did they bite the dust?

Your child is trying to cope with death. They should understand what caused the release, so try to answer the question at your child's level. For example, 'Grandpa's heart was exceptionally old and didn't work as expected. Specialists tried to fix it, but he had an extremely bad infection that they couldn't fix.

pass on? do i move on

Your child may begin to understand that their loved ones can pass on. It's really smart to tell your child that the vast majority will go away just when they're extremely old or exceptionally worn out.

In the event that a cub kicks the bucket, let your child know that this happens very rarely. Likewise, you could raise a wide variety of different individuals that your child is aware of who are of a similar age and who are perfectly healthy.

What happens when you pass?

How you answer this question depends on your family's private or deeply held beliefs. You can talk to your children about these beliefs.

Many individuals find solace in giving their children something to focus on while they think about the individual who kicked the bucket. For example: "When we see a star overhead, we can think of Nanna".

Whatever you say to your child is helpful if it comforts you too. This way, your child will see that you are comforted by it.

Surprising questions

Your child might ask questions that seem a little strange, like 'Does grandpa feel cold when he's dead?' or "Could grandma ever see me now?" Try to answer these questions as they help your child understand what extinction is.

The most effective method for dealing with one's feelings about death

It is okay for your child to see that you are unhappy or to see you cry when someone important to you leaves. But at the same time, it is really smart to understand your affection for your child. For example, "I've been crying since Grandpa died and I feel exceptionally miserable that I'll never see him in the future."

It might help to have a conversation with a trusted companion or relative about your feelings. Assuming you would like to do this without your child nearby, another companion or relative could look after your child during this time.

If your feelings make it difficult for you to do normal things, even after some time you will need to seek help.